Saturday, June 18, 2011


 "One need not be a chamber to be haunted, One need not be a house. The brain has corridors surpassing material place". -Emily Dickinson What haunts you?

I hold on to things in my mind and replay them over and over.  I don't know why I do this I could seriously drive myself crazy.  The things that haunt me are the the things that I can not change .  The losses that have forever changed who I am.   These are the things that I hold close to my heart, and the things that have been the worse and most heartbreaking days of my life.  I actually, have several of these events in my life.  As I am sure many of you do.  Life happens and with it death, illness, tragedy, mistakes. 

Death , when you lose someone that was as much a part of you as the very breath you take.  The unimaginable hole that is left in your heart , in your life.  The sadness that is in your soul and your families.  This haunts me.

When you see someone you love suffer and struggle as they die.  When your heartbreaks every painful breath they take.  When the rest of the family completely falls a part after the loss . This  haunts me. 

Fear...most definitely haunts me.  What kind of fear?  The fear of being sick, the fear of fighting, the fear of not being here when they need me, the fear of something happening to one of them, the fear of not being that person they need to be.  These  things haunt me. 

Haunted I may be, but these are also the things that made me me.  That taught me empathy, sympathy, humility, and unquestionable love.  These are the things that have made me a  better person.   With every breath I take I remember that life is short.  Love the ones you love and let them know every day you love them.