Sunday, June 5, 2011

Birth Order and How you Parent...Birth Order and Personality Characteristics

Does birth order change how you parent a child?  What about personality any effect there? 

This mom of three says most definitely. 

As a first time mom you are super extra cautious, by the rules on every thing.  Super neat, super picky, super mom?  You are also learning, learning learning.  The first  child is like  your precious little Guinea pig (sorry) .  What I mean is you are testing what works, what doesn't work.  You are discovering gas drops, and gripe water, formula, breast feeding, diaper changing, sleep routines.  You are learning.

My first child was the first baby I had really ever been around.  I of course followed Dr. orders to a T, sterilized everything, and followed every rule or precaution.  She had the benefit of my undivided attention, but of course I didn't know a thing about kids .  Not that I made some horrible error in bringing her up I'm just saying. 

Then baby #2 ~ well your not as freaked out for certain.  You've done this before.  You know hey I can do this. I'm a good Mom, and you think it will all be a little bit easier.  In ways probably.  Your second child gets a little bit of a more relaxed you.  Your not so freaked out that he dropped his bottle on the ground , or that he ate a Cheetos off the floor.  You know that in the end these will not be the things that kill him.  You are a little more laid back with the mommy rules.  He gets your attention and your love and your knowledge from baby #1.  However, no longer an undivided you,  you have two little angels to share your attention,your time, your everything.

Baby #3 ~   Baby #3 got an older , wiser mom.   In many ways I think baby # 3 gets the best of me.  He got the mom who is totally laid back (well kind of) , who has been around many kids after teaching, who is experienced and knows what shes doing right ? He also gets the older more worn out version of me (ha).  He gets the mom who realizes how very quickly time passes and tries to spend extra time getting cuddles and kisses.  He also gets the mom who is running to baseball practice, school, dance, and juggling the many activities, the laundry , the cooking and all of the things moms juggle.  He gets the mom who says well you dumped all of your Cheetos on the floor 5 second rule grab them at eat them hurry. (ha.) 

Now , does birth order have any effect on personality?  What do you think?  I think again definitely.  First , let me tell you a little about my three.

My First Born~ over achiever,  straight A's , almost OCD about her grades seriously, studies,  aims to please at everything she does, successful,  people pleaser

Middle child ~ a little bit lazy,  likes to be funny, the center of attention, Romeo,  social butterfly

Baby ~ he's only 2 but already a complete ham, I can imagine him being the class cut up and imagine getting many calls from the principal (hope not),  he wants to play play play, charming,

Wikipedia gives the following definition for birth order , "
Birth order is defined as a person's rank by age among his or her siblings. Birth order is often believed to have a profound and lasting effect on psychological development. This assertion has been repeatedly challenged by researchers, yet birth order continues to have a strong presence in pop psychology and popular culture."

Now read these characteristics of birth order:

First Born ~ Natural leaders, reliable, perfectionist, model children, have the need for approval from anyone in charge,
successful, sometimes aggressive, competitive, higher IQ

Middle Children ~ peacemaker, independent, inventive, read people well, more social with friends, more secretive/mysterious, less decisive

Babies ~ more outgoing, more social , charmer,  like the limelight, financially irresponsible, adventurous, agreeable

I am not telling you this is set in stone.  I do find the studies quite interesting!

 When I read the characteristics of birth order and the many different studies  I sit back and think . There are definitely similarities with my own children , comparable with these lists. 

What about you?  Do you think that it has any role?